Friday Scary Story, May 29, 2015

This is the second chapter of my book Aggi.  I hope you enjoy it.

Watch Out Or You Will Burn

“When you stink from perspiration and get too close to a flame or are in direct sunlight, you will spontaneously explode or catch on fire.”

This is what Aggi was taught.  Again, as a reminder, ghastly pictures were placed up and down the hall.  She was thankful they were not in her room.  It would have been very hard to sleep at night.  She had seen them before.  As fast as they went up, they came down.  She never found where they hid them.  She had looked.

There were a couple of pictures that were etched into her brain.  She even gave them names.  One was Mrs. Potts.  It looked like the home of an Englishwomen.  It was very pretty and proper.  Her whole body had been burnt to white and gray powder, except for her legs from the knees down.  They were untouched.  They were still covered in her old-lady stockings and sensible shoes. 

Did she suffer and cry for help, finally to fall into the fireplace?  Why didn’t the stockings burn too?  They were one inch away from the incinerated flesh and bones.

Aggi analyzed was how nothing else was burned, not the rug, not the chair nearby, nothing.  She rationalized that at least no one around her would burn if she forgot to wear deodorant.  

She worried about the greasy, oily goop that spread from a burned body.  Her mom said the melted liquid from burned flesh and bones was like glue, and the smell was horrific.  Even dogs were said not to eat food that had been splattered with the stuff.  Her mother warned her that there should never be any burned body goop in the house under any circumstances.  She made Aggi keep a full box of thirty-six deodorants in her room, so to never run out and foul up her precious house.

Aggi took the photo of Mrs. Potts from the wall.  It was at the end of the line of pictures taped up along the hallway wall.  After all, there were so many, she didn’t think anyone would miss it, and she was right. 

There has to be a way to make sure I don’t burn.

 Aggi had been afraid of exploding and burning her whole life.

 I need to take control of this. 

She went to the library.

The library was an interesting place.  Lots of people and no one talked.  The point was not to interact with anyone else.  It was an incredibly majestic building.  The pure architecture of it was priceless.  Walking up the steps was entering into the minds of all the people whose words filled the cavernous rooms.  Because Aggi had always been told she was stupid, she felt embarrassed to be there.  She thought her stupidity was visible on the outside of her, so she avoided eye contact.  That way, no one would know how dumb she was and kick her out.  She did not look at the librarian’s eyes when she asked about the picture for fear the lady would see her incompetence.  Aggi slid the picture over to the librarian, across the massive wooden counter, and explained she was doing a research project for school.  As librarians always know, the librarian pointed to where the books about medical oddities were located. 

Aggi shyly said thank you, and slipped away.

She pored over the books, absorbing every bit of information.  When it was something she was interested in, it was like a voracious appetite that could not be filled.  Aggi loved anything having to do with the human body and science.  The library was filled with rows and rows of unbelievable facts. 

Why isn’t the whole world crashing through the doors to be in here?  I won’t tell anyone, so I can have this place to myself. 

Later, Aggi found a medical book on autopsies.  So that no one would know what she was looking at, she squatted into a hidden corner, and started flipping through the pages.  Though it was disgusting, she could not put the book down.  They used tools that looked like they came from a gardener.  Huge clippers to cut through ribs, and saws to cut around the head and lift the top off like a bowl.  She read about how each organ was removed and weighed.  Even the brain was sliced on a deli meat cutting machine and analyzed. 

Later in the mortuary, the eyes were stuffed with cotton and sewn shut, along with the mouth. 

Remembering what her parents said about selling her to science made her sick to her stomach. 

I must stay alive.  I won’t let them do this to me. 

It was too much information.  It was making her shaky.  Aggi needed to go outside and breathe fresh, cool air.  To make sure the book would be there when she returned, she tucked it in with the books at the bottom of the bookshelf – backwards, so the library code was hidden. 

It was a perfect day outside.  It felt so cleansing.  The air was crisp and the sun was bright.  The leaves were turning the brilliant colors of fall.  Purple crocuses were poking out of the ground, and the fire bushes were bright scarlet.  After three deep cleansing breaths, Aggi felt a little stronger.  She felt a little more empowered.  She felt a little more grown up.  She had done something for herself at the library and was proud of it. 

Every day I must be stronger.  I can do it… I can do it… 

Aggi was standing straighter.  She rolled her shoulders back and held her head up.  She almost had a bounce in her walk as she went home for dinner.

When she got home, she was still smiling. 

As Aggi walked in the door, her mom sassed, “What’s wrong with you?  What are you up to?  Wipe that smirk off your face and get ready for dinner.  Everyone is waiting for you.”

Aggi deflated. 

Her confidence melted from her. 

Her mouth froze shut. 

She was silent. 

It was easy for Aggi to mentally put herself in another world.  It was a protective device.  She took a breath and released to a feeling that cannot be described other than it was instant.  Pain, hurt, sorrow, or any other things that were too hard to bear at the moment were removed.  Something may even be happening to her physically, yet a defense mechanism allowed her to move ever so slightly away from her body and continue on, sometimes with extreme indifference. 

Instead of living it, she went somewhere else. 

Anywhere else. 

Snapping back happened quickly.

Aggi wanted to run. 

She wanted to run to Emma’s house.  She wanted to hear kind words.  She wanted to feel the kindness of Emma’s heart.  She would go get some rose petals to feel better.

Day 22:  October 18 – 343 days to freedom

I am nothing.  I have no existence.  I have no color, no reflection, nothing.  When I look in the mirror, I am hideous.  I am a monster.  I am dark inside like the color black.  I should have been named “Dark”.  That is how I feel.  I will call myself “Dark”.

Friday Scary Story, April 3, 2015

The prologue and the first chapter of my book, Aggi.  

I hope you enjoy it.

Prologue:  The Interrogation

The interrogation had been going on for hours.  The room was damp and smelled like mold.  A cheap table and fold out metal chairs were the only items in the room.  The fluorescent light made everyone look sickly.  Aggi had her legs pulled up to her chest.  Her thin, pale blond hair, clumped together, made her appear almost bald.  Band-Aids were wrapped on her fingers to help her from chewing her skin bloody.  Her watery blue eyes stared vacantly at the ground.

“Explain this so I can understand.”

“I am so cold.  I hate to be cold.  Can’t we go somewhere else?”

“I need you to explain why this was in your pocket.”

“I really have to go to the bathroom.”

“After we get some information from you.  Look, you seem like a nice kid, but you need to help us to understand.”

“It’s for good luck.”

“Good luck?  How would this give you good luck?”

Aggi’s eyes met the detective’s.  She stared hard into his eyes with a puzzled look, then stared back at the floor.

“I don’t know.”

“Look, I don’t know what happened to you in your life, but this isn’t normal.  This isn’t right, if you are…”

Her head came up quickly at an uncanny angle and her dull blue eyes suddenly sparkled.

“When I went to see her in her coffin, I waited until everyone left.  I took out my rose clipper and snipped off her finger.  It was only a little one.  Who would care?  She was my friend and I needed to keep a part of her with me.  You know, so I would not forget her.  That’s all.”

Aggi then walked over to the door and stared at it, waiting to be let out.  The room was silent.

Agatha

            It blended in with the ground it laid on, but Aggi saw it.  It was a small dried up dead baby bird.  The ants had eaten the eyes out.  She knelt down over it, and picked it up.  She removed all the ants and shook off the lose debris.  She felt intense sadness.  Her eyes welled up with tears. 

            “It’s okay little one.  You are not alone any more.”

            Aggi reached into her pocket, carefully unfolded a small piece of foil, and wrapped the little corpse in it.  Then she wrapped it with a cloth handkerchief that Emma had made her. 

            “We are going to go for a little walk before I bring you home, okay little one?”  Aggi tilted her head waiting for an answer.  She seemed to get one.  Satisfied, she continued her walk. 

            Later she would put it in her closet against the back wall, lined up with all the others she had collected, so they would not be alone or scared or forgotten.

             Emma was always making new hankies for Aggi. She didn’t know why they were always disappearing.  But, as Emma put it, “All young ladies should carry a handkerchief.”  They were beautiful, white linen squares with colored embroidery along the edges and an “A” in one corner for “Aggi”. 

A

            Her name was Agatha. She was named this because her mother told her that all she did was cause agony in her life.

Life, as Aggi saw it, was different plains, different layers of existence.  Aggi did not know what layer she belonged on or where she fit in.  She wished she knew.  She wished she fit in.  She wished she belonged. 

Aggi was an observer.  She sat for hours watching people moving around her.  She concentrated on each one.  She studied their mannerisms, behavior and their eyes.  She tried to figure out what their life was like.  How they lived.  How they fit into this world. 

Aggi got home late, so she became invisible as she walked in.  She did not know her parents could see her.  As early as she could remember, they told her she could turn invisible whenever she wanted to.  They thought it was funny.  Aggi knew nothing else. 

They had kept her isolated.  She was their experiment to see what they could get away with.  It was purely for their entertainment. 

Aggi lived in a quiet, negative world.  Either her parents didn’t talk to her, or they were telling her how she did something wrong, or was just bad.  Her little brother never spoke.

Her mother and father kept pretty pictures ripped out of fashion magazines taped up and down the hallway to Aggi’s room.  They told her she was ugly because she was a bad person.  When she started being good she would turn pretty.  Whenever Aggi got the courage up, she would look into the mirror to see if she had changed.

Most people would say she’s a beautiful girl.  Her baby fine, soft blond hair wisps about her shoulders.  She is average height and very slim like a runway model. She has a perfect complexion, flawless in fact.  Her eyes stand out the most, crystal blue eyes that can change in an instant from penetrating to vacant.  Girls are jealous and boys want her.  When she sees herself in a mirror, she sees a warped monster as a reflection.

Aggi does all the chores in the house.  Her parents are pigs.  They drop their garbage wherever they are at the moment.  Her parents love American cheese wrapped slices.  The clear cellophane is everywhere, along with her father’s contact lens.  He takes them out and just drops them where he stands.  Sometimes he thinks it is funny to flick used ones on her. 

Her parents never clean.  They say their time is worth too much for that.  The house is either disgusting or Aggi has just cleaned it.  She cannot stand mess.  It makes her mind foggy, and she can’t think.  Her parents have her bury most of the trash in the yard.  They say it is “weed block”.  Aggi puts anything else in black garbage bags and slides it under various neighbors’ hedges at night. 

She cleans up every night before she goes to bed.  She is always so tired.  She sets her alarm for 11:50 P.M.  She then places it under her pillow so she does not bother her parents.  She does this ritual every night. 

When Aggi was little, her mother told her to stop crying, or at midnight her face would freeze like that forever.  To prove it to her, they showed her deformed pictures of people and pointed out deformed people on the street.  They said they froze like that.  Her parents taped these pictures up and down the walls of the hallway leading up to her room.

When the alarm went off, she would position herself, without expression, and hope she did not sneeze.  After midnight, she would set her alarm for school.

Aggi’s world was so ugly at times. 

She felt divided in half.  One moment she felt herself walking in a world filled with Emma, kindness, and possibilities.  The next moment she felt herself stifled and trapped in her parent’s world, where horror was constantly shoved into her face.    

“We are donating your body to science, you know.  We own you until you are eighteen,” her mom said, with her head tilted down and eyes peering up from the top of her head.

“If we piece you out, we should make a pretty penny.”  After a few moments of silence, her parents exploded with laughter and started poking at each other like kids in grade school.

Aggi said nothing.

The morning after they told her about donating her body, there were pictures taped up of cadavers in various stages of dissection.  They were very disturbing.  Some of the pictures took a minute to understand.  The head sitting in a tin cooking pan with the face skin removed and folded over on itself was one of the pictures.  Another was the skin of an old man’s face resting on a stainless steel counter.  It looked like a rubbery Halloween mask.  Her parents wrote messages on paper and taped them beside the photos.  One scribbled message said, “I’m coming to get you!” in red ink. 

She wished her life were different.

Aggi watched the families on television and wished for a life like that.  Her favorite show was the Brady Bunch reruns.  They were a perfect family.  Especially the scrumptious dinners they had.  They all sat together and passed around heaping platters of food.  She loved the way their forks tinked on the plates.  She wanted a family like that. 

Aggi would sneak out at night so she could walk the streets; peeking from a distance into the lit windows; imagining the happy life the people had in there.  Especially when it was a cool crisp night, and the smell of logs burning in the fireplace swept through the night air.  She imagined people huddled around the fireplace laughing, and playing games.  Sometimes not speaking at all.  Families who are just content, safe and loved. 

Aggi’s heart was heavy.  She wanted someone to love, and to be loved back.  She created her own family.  Aggi looked through old Sears and JCPenny store catalogs.  She found pictures of kids who she wished were her older brothers and sisters.  They became real to her.  So no one would find her paper family, she folded them into origami designs. She kept them on her nightstand.  They were her secret family.  Her mom would sometimes come into Aggi’s room just to knock one over and watch Aggi squirm as she crushed it under her foot.  Her mom knew they were important to her, she just didn’t know why.  As it would fall to the floor, Aggi would hold her breath. 

Please be okay… Please be okay… 

As her mom would grind it into the floor, Aggi would cover her ears to muffle the screams she heard from her origami person.  She would close her eyes hard and say nothing. 

“You are so weird. What did I ever do to deserve you?” her mother would blurt out. “Why didn’t I just abort you? I tried to, you know. I stuck soap up me to wash you out, but you wouldn’t die.”

No matter how many times she heard this, it would hurt every time.

Often, as her mother would leave the room, Aggi would hear her whine, “What am I being punished for?”

Every time it happened, Aggi would give herself a few moments to feel sad over the death, and then she would push away the sadness. She had work to do.  She would get one of the little coffins she made from old cereal boxes, and would bury her family member outside, back along the fence. 

The last time, it started to rain. Aggi tilted her head back to let the rain roll down her face.  It mixed with her tears. She memorized the moment.  She wanted to remember to never hurt people like her parents hurt her.

When she didn’t want to remember the hurtful actions or words of others, she would write them down on a piece of paper to quiet them from her mind.  Then she would destroy the paper, so no one else would know her thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes she would eat the paper, so her stomach acids would slowly destroy it.  Make it disappear.

Only one person had ever known that Aggi wrote.  That was Emma. 

Emma told Aggi, that she was a writer.

Day 1:  September 26 – 365 days to freedom.

Today is my birthday.  It is not special.  It never is. 

Emma gave me this little book to write in so it is harder for me to eat the pieces of paper I write on.  It is my birthday present.  It is the only one I ever remember getting.  She meant well.  I will write in it.  I will do it for her.

Some days I cannot smile. 

My face is so heavy. 

My heart is heavy. 

I feel the corners of my lips turn down. 

I cannot stop it. 

What does this mean?  Am I crazy?  My soul is pulling to the ground.  It is so strong.  I feel like letting go sometimes.  I feel like letting my body fall to the ground.  Is that death?  Would I die?  I am afraid to do it.  I am so alone.

Aggi

A great book to learn storytelling.

Storytelling is an art.

A book that has helped me learn the techniques of storytelling, is The Writer's Journey, by Christopher Vogler.  

I love writing.

I am so glad, I was brave enough to put my thoughts out to the World.  You have all been so wonderful and kind to me.  I appreciate all of you so much.

I am writing the second book of my Aggi trilogy.

Be brave my friends, speak your voices.  They are all so unique and so beautiful.

They are perfect.

Aggi on Amazon

It has been incredible since I published my book on Amazon.

I published it as an e-book, and I just enabled my book to borrowed in the Kindle Library.

In the next couple of weeks I will have it available in print on Amazon.


My wish for you...

Let your voice be heard... speak it ... write it. 

Every experience we have, can help another person.  When we put our thoughts out into the Universe we are letting others connect to us. 

I hope my words help someone to be strong.

I hope my words let another person know they are not alone.

I hope my words let someone know, it will be okay.

Peace,

Linda

Birth...

Aggi is alive.

Chapter 1 Agatha

Agatha

She refused to look at anyone who passed in front or behind her.  She refused to look at the man who sat down beside her.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone?"  he said with a sickening smirk and cocked head.

She ignored him.

"What the matter? Cat's got your tongue?"

She said nothing.

The man slid closer to her and put his arm across the top of the bench.  His filthy smell of cologne stunk up the air.

"You know I have been looking for a new secretary."

As he finished his sentence, she slowly turned and looked at him.

"Wow, what beautiful eyes you have."  he said, acting as though he were too irresistible for words.

In a low controlled voice she said, "Get away from me before I gut you like a fish and drape your insides around your neck like a tie and stuff your liver in your mouth... old man."  Insanity burned out of her eyes with such force; the man stumbled up and ran like a scared child.

Her name was Agatha.  She was named this because her mother told her all she did was cause agony in her life.

Aggi got home late, so she became invisible as she walked in.  She did not know her parents could see her.  They told her she could turn invisible since she was a kid.  They thought it was funny.  Aggi knew nothing else.  They had kept her isolated.  She was their experiment to see what they could get away with.  It was purely for their own entertainment.

Aggi lived in a quiet, negative world.  Either her parents didn't talk to her, or they were telling her how she did something wrong or was just bad.

Her parents kept pretty pictures ripped out from fashion magazines taped up and down the hallway to Aggi's room.  They told her she was ugly because she was a bad person.  When she started being good she would turn pretty.  Whenever Aggi got the courage up she would look into the mirror to see if she had changed.

Most people would say she's a beautiful girl.  Her baby fine soft blond hair wisps about her shoulders.  She is average height and very slim like a runway model.  She has a perfect complexion, flawless in fact.  Her eyes stood out the most, crystal blue eyes that could change in an instant from penetrating to vacant.  Girls are jealous and boys want her.  When she sees herself in a mirror, she sees a warped monster as a reflection.

Aggi did all the chores in the house.  Her parents were pigs.  They dropped their garbage wherever they were at the time.  Her parents loved American cheese wrapped slices.  The clear cellophane was everywhere along with her father's contact lens.  He would take them out and just drop them where he stood.  Sometimes he thought it was funny to throw used ones on her.

Her parents never cleaned.  They said their time was worth too much to do it.  The house was either disgusting or Aggi had cleaned it.  She could not stand mess.  It made her mind foggy, and she couldn't think.  Her parents had her bury most of the trash in the yard; they said it was "weed block".  Aggi put anything else in black garbage bags and slid it under various neighbor's hedges at night.

She cleaned up every night before she went to bed.  She was always so tired.  She set her alarm for 11:50 p.m.  She then placed it beside her pillow so she would not bother her parents. She did this ritual every night of her life.

When Aggi was little, her mother told her to stop crying or at midnight her face would freeze like that forever.  To prove it to her they showed her deformed pictures of people and pointed out deformed people on the street.  They said they froze like that.  Her parents tapped these pictures up and down the walls of the hallway leading up to her room.

When the alarm went off, she would position herself without expression, and hope she did not sneeze.  After midnight, she would set her alarm for school.

Aggi's world was so ugly at times.  She felt divided into two.  The world had so much to offer and could be so beautiful, yet horror was constantly shoved into her face.

"We are donating your body to science, you know... we own you until you are eighteen." her mom said with her head tilted down and eyes peering from the top of her head.  

"If we piece you out, we should make a pretty penny."  After a few moments of silence, her parents exploded with laughter and started poking at each other like kids in grade school.

Aggi said nothing.

The morning after they told her about donating her body, there were pictures taped up of cadavers in various stages of dissection.  They were very disturbing.  Some of the pictures took a minute to understand.  The head sitting in a tin-cooking pan with the face skin lifted and folded over on itself was one of those.  Another was the skin of an old man's face resting on a stainless steel counter.  It looked like a rubbery Halloween mask.  Her parents wrote messages on paper and tapped them beside the photos.  One scribbled message said, "I'm coming to get you!" in red ink.

Aggi watched the families on T.V. and wished for a life like that.  Her favorite show was the Brady Bunch reruns.  They were perfect.  Especially their scrumptious dinners they had.  They all sat together and passed around heaping platters of food.  She loved the way their forks tinked on the plates.  She wanted a family like that.

She would sneak out at night so she could walk the streets peeking from a distance into lit windows, imagining the happy life the people had in there.  Especially when it was a cool crisp night, and the smell of logs burning in the fireplace swept through the night air.  She imagined people huddled around the fireplace, laughing and playing games.  Even not speaking at all, just content, safe and loved.

Aggi's heart was heavy.  She wanted someone to love and to be loved back.  She created her own family.  Aggi looked through old Sears and Penny's store catalogs.  She found pictures of kids who she wished were her older brothers and sisters.  They became real to her.  So no one would find her paper family, she folded them into origami designs.  She kept them on her nightstand.  They were her secret family.

Her mom would sometimes come into Aggi's room just to knock one over and watch Aggi squirm as she crushed it under her foot.  Her mom knew they were important to her, she just didn't know why.  As it would fall to the floor, Aggi would hold her breath.  Please be O.K. ... please be O.K.  As her mom would grind it into the floor, Aggi would cover her ears to muffle the screams she heard from her origami person.  She would close her eyes hard and say nothing.

"You are so weird, what did I ever do to deserve you?"  Her mother blurted, "Why didn't I just abort you?  I tries you know, I stuck soap up me to wash you out but you wouldn't die."

No matter how many times she heard this, it still hurt.

As her mother left the room you could hear her whine "What am I being punished for?"

Aggi gave herself a few moments to feel sad, then pushed it away.  She had work to do. Aggi got one of her little coffins she made out of old cereal boxes and buried her friend outside. It started to rain.  She tilted her head back to let the rain roll down her face.  It mixed with the tears.  She memorized the moment.

Prologue...

The Interrogation

The interrogation had been going on for hours.  The room was damp and smelled like mold.  A cheap table and fold out metal chairs were the only items in the room.  The fluorescent light made everyone look sickly.  Aggi had her legs pulled up to her chest.  Her thin pale blond hair clumped together made her appear almost bald.  Band-Aids were wrapped on her fingers to help her from chewing her skin bloody.  Her watery blue eyes stared vacantly at the ground.

"Explain this so I can understand."

"I am so cold.  I hate to be cold.  Can't we go somewhere else?"

"I need you to explain why this was in your pocket."

"I really have to go to the bathroom."

"After we get some information from you.  Look, you seem like a nice kid, but you need to help us to understand."

"It's for good luck."

"Good luck?  How would this give you good luck?"

Aggi's eyes met the detective's.  She stared hard into his eyes with a puzzled look, then stared back at the floor.

"I don't know."

"Look, I don't know what happened to you in your life, but this isn't normal, this isn't right, if you are..."

Her head came up quickly at an uncanny angle and her dull blue eyes suddenly sparkled.

"When I went to see her in her coffin, I waited until everyone left.  I took out my flower cutters and snipped off her finger.  It was only a little one.  Who would care?  She was my friend and I needed to keep a part of her with me.  You know, so I would not forget her.  That's all."

Aggi then walked over to the door and stared at it waiting to be let out.  The room was silent.  

 

One day at a time...

We all have challenges, moments in our lives when we don't know how we can possibly get through it.  We can take that energy and let it pull us down, or we can learn to believe in ourselves.  It is not easy, but we can do it.  I promise.  This is how I became a writer, this is how Aggi was born.